{"id":372,"date":"2021-01-07T23:38:29","date_gmt":"2021-01-07T23:38:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/allred10.com\/?p=372"},"modified":"2025-11-24T14:19:34","modified_gmt":"2025-11-24T14:19:34","slug":"disciplining","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/allred10.com\/?p=372","title":{"rendered":"Discipline"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nothing of worth can be accomplished without discipline.\u00a0 Discipline is a necessary component of developing a good character.\u00a0 \u00a0Being disciplined does not come naturally because we usually want to do that which is the easiest or most fun.\u00a0 It requires constant vigilance.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I prefer the word \u201ceducating\u201d to \u201cdisciplining\u201d to describe what a parent does for a child.\u00a0 I have found a loose\/tight disciplining philosophy to be the most effective.\u00a0 This means that there are times when we show flexibility, but we remain rigid when it comes to issues of consequence.\u00a0 For example, a child might ignore a job that was assigned to her\u00a0and we would give her\u00a0another chance to complete the task without punishment.\u00a0 However, if the child lies to us, there would be serious consequences.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

This might be more important to me because we chose to have a large family, but I adopted a \u201cswift justice\u201d approach to discipline.\u00a0 There isn\u2019t time to try to reason with a 3 year old about whether he should wear his shoes when the family is trying to get somewhere on time.\u00a0 There will be time for philosophical discussions of agency when he gets a little older.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

We chose to bring children into this world.\u00a0 We loved them and wanted them to be able to develop their own unique personalities, but I would not consciously allow my children to be an affliction to others.\u00a0 For example, if they misbehaved in church, I would put them under my arm and immediately take them out of the meeting, often with my other hand over their mouth (but not their nose), so no would have to listen to them scream.\u00a0 They were put on a chair outside of the chapel and told that they would sit there until they could \u201cact decent.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Corporal punishment at one time was one of the essentials of child rearing.\u00a0 Now, it is considered by many to be a form a child abuse.\u00a0 Maybe this is the reason for the increasing numbers of youth that are disrespectful and undisciplined.\u00a0 No one should harm their child, but spanking does help children understand the seriousness of the situation. \u00a0Of course, there is no justification for spanking a baby and spanking becomes counter-productive as the child grows older.\u00a0 My experience is that spanking before age 2 and after age 8 is rarely beneficial.\u00a0 Sue always used the rule, \u201cNever give more swats on the bottom than the age of the child.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the methods of disciplining that seems to be popular now is counting to three before the parent acts.\u00a0 The result seems to be that the child does not change his behavior until the parent has finished counting to two.\u00a0 Nothing more.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Another faulty parenting technique is to give exaggerated ultimatums – “If you do that, you’re not going to live to see ten.\u201d\u00a0 Funny\u2026but really?\u00a0 Both the parents and the kids know that the threats are completely meaningless.\u00a0 This teaches the kids that our words are nothing more than inconsequential blather.\u00a0 There is a better way.\u00a0 Either don\u2019t give the kids an ultimatum or give an ultimatum and actually follow through.\u00a0 (Not the one cited above, though.)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t why I thought that I could create \u201ca little bit of heaven on earth\u201d by yelling, but that is how I tried to accomplish it.\u00a0 I was more of a drill sergeant than a negotiator.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how to organize a large family without yelling.\u00a0 My wife is much mellower than I am but she would yell at the kids if they ignored her enough times, or at the wrong time.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I know that yelling is not the best way to communicate with children, but I don\u2019t know how to eliminate it.\u00a0 My best advice would be to try to keep it to a minimum.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Parents must be willing to accept the role of teacher and disciplinarian and not servant.\u00a0 It is usually easier to do a job oneself than to teach a child what to do and make sure they do it correctly.\u00a0 However, we are in the business of raising well-disciplined children instead of\u00a0doing their jobs for them in order to avoid conflict.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Disciplined parents are essential in rearing responsible and disciplined children.\u00a0 Model the behavior you expect, mean what you say, act instead of react and never give up.\u00a0 And most importantly, always show them how much you love them.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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