{"id":288,"date":"2021-01-10T07:23:08","date_gmt":"2021-01-10T07:23:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/allred10.com\/?p=288"},"modified":"2025-11-24T14:20:46","modified_gmt":"2025-11-24T14:20:46","slug":"character","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/allred10.com\/?p=288","title":{"rendered":"Character\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good parents want nothing more than for their children to be men and women of character.\u00a0 That is, to be individuals who have honor, goodness and integrity.\u00a0 These attributes will benefit each child and anyone who associates with them, because strength of character is necessary to achieve any worthwhile goal.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The character, or integrity, of our children also has a tremendous impact beyond our own family. Confucius said, \u201cThe strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.\u201d\u00a0 What we do with our children helps strengthen our society.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

A good character is not genetic.\u00a0 It must be taught, learned and earned.\u00a0 Some would debate if our children are who they are because of nature (they were born that way) or nurture (they were raised that way).\u00a0 Most parents would agree that their children are unique but they can be taught.\u00a0 In other words, there are elements of nature and nurture.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Our character is the sum of our choices.\u00a0 Therefore, we must take advantage of the time we are with our kids to teach them to make good choices.\u00a0 Once they leave the house, there isn’t much a parent can do to help them make correct decisions.\u00a0 We love them and want them to be successful and happy in life.\u00a0 The following are some ways to help children to choose correctly so that they will become men and women of character.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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  1. Teach correct principals. Children must be taught not only right from wrong but also good from better and best.\u00a0 The teaching of parents should also be supplemented by allowing the kids to associate with people of character.\u00a0 For example, if a child likes sports, the most important consideration should be the coach.<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. Set a good example. Those who disregard the law typically raise children who disregard the law.\u00a0 Our society is plagued with individuals and micro-societies that justify bad behavior because of some past wrong, or perceived wrong, that was done to them or someone they know.\u00a0 Parents must be mature enough to do what is right regardless of wrongs done to them. \u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. Reinforce the importance of a good character. We have a bronze plaque on our front door that reads, \u201cReturn with Honor.\u201d It is intended to be a constant reminder of what is expected of each member of our family, parents included.\u00a0 It also helps every family remember that their actions reflect on all members of the family.<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n
  4. Recognize and reward good behavior. It is much more important in developing character for a child to be recognized and praised for helping someone with their homework than for scoring the winning touchdown.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t happen often enough.\u00a0 Society is teaching kids that winning at sports is more important than almost anything.\u00a0 Our most effective method to combat this lie is to praise appropriately. \u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n
  5. Explain the law of consequences. Moral agency is one of the greatest of God\u2019s gifts to man.\u00a0 An eternal truth is that you can choose your actions, but you can\u2019t choose the consequences.\u00a0 Since every person has agency, it is up to parents to teach their children to make choices that yield positive consequences.<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n
  6. Help kids connect the dots. When we counsel our children with, \u201cDon\u2019t hang around with kids who don\u2019t share your values,\u201d or \u201cDon\u2019t use alcohol or drugs.\u201d\u00a0 We must also tell them why.\u00a0 \u201cKids who don\u2019t share your values will make it very easy for you to make bad choices.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAlcohol and drugs impair you and could lead to decisions that will destroy your life both physically and morally.\u201d\u00a0 Then, follow up with examples.\u00a0 There are thousands of bad examples.\u00a0 Most teenagers are smart but they are not always good at connecting the dots of the long term results of their actions.<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n
  7. Let them make as many decisions as possible. Learning by experience is the best way for someone to learn if those choices will not jeopardize their physical or spiritual well-being.\u00a0 As my wife says, \u201cLet children learn to make choices.\u00a0 Mismatched clothes at age two or three is okay.\u201d\u00a0 As they become older, they are able to make complex decisions with parents establishing the boundaries, for example, \u201cYou can wear whatever you want, as long as it is not offensive.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYou can go out tonight, as long as you will be home by curfew and I know where you are going.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYou can use the car as long as I approve of where you are taking it.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Finally, parents must be mature enough to allow their children to pay the consequences of their actions.\u00a0 Constantly saving the child from consequences is a great way to raise an irresponsible adult.\u00a0 Being consistent in teaching correct principles and modeling honorable behavior is the best way to help our children to be people of good character.<\/span><\/strong>
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